Wednesday, December 17, 2008

The Ten Lamest Gifts You Can Buy for a Woman

As I was reading this I thought it would be a great thing to post, since we all know men leave gift buying to the very last minute. may want to go directly to Totally Her for the details. Sometimes the lameness of holiday gifts is obvious. A litter box? Granny underwear? Obvious no-nos.
But I can’t believe the junk I see in stores featured as “thoughtful gifts” for women. I’m telling you, now — this stuff is crap. Don’t believe the hype — every single one of these presents screams “I didn’t put one thought into buying your gifts this year, I just bought the first thing I saw at the store.”
Here is the "Reader's Digest Condensed Version" to give you an idea of how helpful this might be :)

1. Cleaning Appliances
I know the Dyson vacuum is a sexy machine, and steam cleaners are very nice to have around the house. But this isn’t a Christmas present.

2. Auto Accessories
You may think we like pink seat covers or handy cell phone holders. We don’t. This gift screams “I bought you what I wanted, not what you wanted.”

3. Poinsettias
Christmas foliage is only appropriate as a gift for your mother or mother in law, and then only as an add-on gift. Take it as a general rule of thumb that anything you can find in the front of a grocery store or a hardware store is probably not something that oozes ‘romance’ when we receive it.

4. Lotion Gift Sets
These are the most annoying gifts of all. We are picky about what we put on our skin. And the cheap crap that goes into these packages makes us smell like a cheap date.

5. Christmas Sweaters
Don’t. Go. There.
What do you think of when you think of Christmas sweaters? Old women? Weird aunts? Crazy cat ladies? That’s what I think of.

6. Food Gift Baskets
We know these are the first thing you see when you walk into the store. That’s because the stores know that lazy gift givers will buy the first thing they see. As irrational as it may seem, if we think that you were lazy about buying gifts for us, we take that to mean that you care less about us. I know. In your world that is ridiculous. We get that. But it doesn’t change the way we feel about it. We’d like to, because it would make life easier for all of us. But we can’t. So work with us on this one, will you please?

7. Anything from a Drug Store Chain
I know they are convenient. There’s a Walgreen’s or CVS on nearly every street corner in the suburbs. But that doesn’t make it a gift-shopping destination.

8. Bedroom or Bathroom Linens
Towels, sheets, bed pillows, and shower curtains are just plain not allowed to be on your list. We can get excited about a lot of really dorky domestic things. Things that you will never, ever care about. But towels are just not exciting no matter what.

9. Diet or Fitness Products
Buying us anything that implies we need to lose weight is a serious situation. Even if we don’t have to lose weight, if we get even a hint that you think we do, it could be a couch-sleeping night for you. To put it in perspective, it would be like us buying you Rogaine for a present. Or Viagra. Or Hair Club for Men.

10. Lingerie
Let’s not kid each other here. Who exactly are you buying lingerie for?


Unknown said...

OH NO, Towels are not allowed? And I always thought that the lingerie was the best present every year!

Faye said...

Hahahaha! I'm sure YOU would love the lingerie gift every year...LOL!

Mz.Elle said...

I don't know..I'd kinda like a Dyson,lol.